Choices
by krista2you
Summary: After the Finale, how can Meredith decide between who she loves and who feels right? A case trouble's Alex and Izzie tries to pull herself back together.


Mer V.O **V.O. UPDATED 6/24**

Choices. Were given them all the time. From the simple things, like what we wear when we wake up, to well, the more complex things like where we are going to live and what we are going to do for our career. Whether we like it or not, all of our choices affect us, maybe not immediately, but they will eventually. A good choice today may become a bad one tommorow. All the time, we make these decisions. Sometimes we plan them out carefully, anazlyzing each affect it may have. Other times, we make decisions on whim, thinking only about that day, minute, or second. As humans, we desperately try to make a good decision, and we are taught to from when we are young. Good vs. bad. It's ran through our heads over and over. But sometimes, there is no good or bad, nice versus evil, sometimes, well, things get, grey.

Meredith, Derek, and Finn are standing there. Each person glancing at the next. Finn is trying to piece together what had happened, knowing something was up. Meredith can feel her throat tighten, as she is forced to make a decisions she new she didn't want to have to make. Nervously biting her lip, she feels her eyes weld with tears, knowing no matter what she does, every single person standing there, including herself, will feel terrible. She scanned the area, desperately looking for a way out, a place where she could hide from the decision. She saw none. She exhaled slowly, shaking as she did so, and closed her eyes, putting off what she was about to do.

She walks toward him, and once more closes her eyes. She holds his hands, hopefully not for the last time. "Plans sound good." She kisses Finn on the cheek, and slowly walks away, trying desperately not to turn around and change her mind. She gives in, "See you around," she says. Their eyes meet, but Derek's deep blue eyes are mixed with flecks of anger, jealousy, and hurt.

Alex chases Izzie outside, shes sitting on one of the large windowsills. Looking pensively out, focusing on nothing, but thinking about everything. Alex walks over and sits next to her, and she instinctively puts her head on his shoulder.

A: Im sorry

I: For what?

A: For everything. For Denny dying. For losing him. He pauses, bracing for what he is about to say for being a complete jealous ass. Izzie smiles, but briefely, its not forced, but it doesn't last long I know how hard it is to lose someone you love. Alex looks down at her longingly. Izzie snuggles in closer to him, and shuts her eyes

Derek sat there for a minute, unmoved. Why hadn't she picked him? His stomach finally dropped as a biting memory stung him. A teary eyed Meredith came into view, and her ever resounding words of, "Love me" vibrated uncontrollably through his head. ALmost every night that speech ran through his head, it was his final thought. A moment where he could have changed things. _No_, he thought again, _the moment I could have changed things is that night at the trailor, that night when I first brought her there. I could have, **should** have told her about Addison._ Tears came to his eyes as the mistakes he had made found their way back to him. He hadn't made the right choice, and now he was sorry.

He trudged over to Addison, who clearly could tell something was bothering him. They walked in an uncomfortable silence towards their car. Him fiddling with his keys, wishing himself back in time to that night at the trailor. As he got into the car, he slowly drove, and turned on a light jazz radio station, in the vain hope it would block out the thoughts. After a few moments in silence Addison turned to speak to him, but quickly shut her mouth. A few more seconds pass by, and she decides to go for it.

A: At least, most of tonight was good. I feel like I should talk to Izzie. Addison bites her lip, but Derek merely nods his head, as if in agreement, but really his mind was stuck in that exam room, stuck on what he should have done

A: Derek, I think we sh-

D: Not, now Addison. Derek says coldly Addison eyes fill with stinging tears

A: Yes, Now, Derek. I'm tired of hearing not now, not now, later. Im SICK of it. We need to talk NOW. Pause as Addison bites her lip again, she looks strait at Derek with pure conviction I know you still love her. Addison releases the tears held in her eyes, but she makes no sound. She staring at Derek, flinching at the thought of Meredith. He sighs not knowing how to tell her, how to begin.

Alex sat there, cradling Izzie and letting her sleep, her head rested on his shoulder. He felt the minute she fell asleep; her silent crying subsided, and he felt the stress lift from her body. He didn't want to move. This was the closest he had been to Izzie in a month and he didn't want to ruin anything. His leg was becoming numb, but he ignored the sensation. Suddenly the CareFlight helicopter broke the silence that had belonged to him for the past hour. It ripped through the air, and Izzie sat up, startled. Within seconds of the helicopter landing, his pager began beeping, brining him back to reality. As soon as he was about to offer to call a cab for Izzie, her pager from her purse beeped. She looked at it, excited to begin another case. Suddenly the day flooded back to her, and her words of "_I'm_ _not a surgeon_" bit her. She pulled her hair, and looked at her pager. She turned to Alex,

I: I don't know if I said what I meant. I just don't know. I need to go home, and think about this. And Alex?

A: Izzie, I'm fine with wha-

I: Thanks.

Izzie leaned forward and lightly kissed Alex on the cheek. The instant the touched, he felt his stomach leap. He missed her. She missed him.

Derek and Addison drove in silence. He knew what he needed to do, what he should do, but he hated himself for letting himself let it go this long. A stitch in time saves nine... why didn't he listen. After all, wasn't Benjamin Franklin one of the smartest men ever? He could have made this easier on everyone, a simple stitch, but now it had built up, the holes ripping wider between each person he loved every second. Saves nine? If only it took one stitch, or even nine...

He loved Addison. But it wasn't the same kind of love, not any more, at least. There was a time, but now the fireworks that been resounding between them had been diminished to a fading spark. What him and Meredith had? The fireworks were just a fraction of the past were just a fraction what was between them. Now everyone is getting hurt to fix this mess. If only it took nine stitches...

Dereks head immediately was drained off all his stress the minute the Ferry Boats came into view. He knew what he had to do.

George and Callie are laying on George's bed back at Meredith's house. Callie is laying there, examining the ends of her hair. George has a book in his hands; he's not really reading it, but anxiously bending each page. Folding it and unfolding it.

G: I should go find her, go pick her up.

C: George, I need to--

G: She could be lost. She could be drunk. Where's her number?

C: George, something happened that I need to tell you--

G: Callie, this is important. She could be lost, or worse.

C: GEORGE, I CAUGHT MEREDITH AND DR. SHEPHERD DOING THE DEED IN AN EXAM ROOM DURING THE PROM!

G: **_Wha-? _**

C: I walked in; he was fixing his tie, and zipping his pants. Her dress was untied in the back. Seriously? In an exam room? What about his wife?

G: Now I REALLY need to call Izzie Gets up and to call her

Meredith slowly trudged to Joe's. She had never wanted a drink as bad as tonight. She swung open the door, and a familiar glowing warmth surrounded her as a tiny bell pinged signaling the door had been opened. Not looking around, she took a seat. Joe walked over, drying the inside of a glass, and seeing she had a miserable day, leaned over toward her

J: Rough day?

M: You can't even imagine.

J: I bet I can. Burke gets shot, planning a Prom, Izzie's patient, or well I guess fiancé dying...

M: How'd you know?

J: I'm a bartender, I know all. Besides, Cristina came in about 20 minutes ago.

Meredith looked up and saw Cristina, the same disheartened expression mirrored in her face. She moved a few seats over.

M: Hey

C: Hi

M: So today...

C: I walked away from Burke. When he needed me the most, I walked away. I left him. He was lying there, in terrible pain on the operating table, and I walked away? What kind of girlfriend does that make me? I tried to make it up to him later... He may never be able to operate again! What ki-

M: I slept with Derek. During the prom. And I can't find my black panties. I slept with Addison's husband and I lost my panties.

C: I left my boyfriend who now is going to hate me. I win.

M: I win. Addison knows. She knows. And I can't find my panties. (tearing up) Addison is going to kill me. What did I do?

C: Seriously? You slept with McDreamy. You don't get to cry; I can't handle crying right now. My life sucks more.

Meredith leans her shoulder on Cristina, and Cristina puts her head on Merediths. The two best friends both lost and confused, replaying the days events in their head.

Derek parked in the large parking lot, the wind was whistling calmly through the trees, and the stars were concealed by a few gray clouds. He got out, and walked to the other side, holding open the door for his wife.

A: You took me to the docks?

D: I took you to the docks.

For yet another time tonight, the pair walked in a chilling silence. Addison wrapped her arms around herself, as they walked through the old turnstile. The two, still in silence, boarded the ferry. After staring intently staring at the water, Derek begins. 

D: Addison _sigh_ I love you, or at least, I did. I New York, before Mark, you were my everything. But after that incident, when I came here, my life got turned upside down. I'm not blaming you for the way things turned out, I left on my own free will. After you came back, my life was once again ripped apart. I did blame you then, I had finally figured out my life, and you came back. I tried, I tried hard every day with every ounce within me to make things right, to have us work out, but (_interrupted_)

A: Derek, I u-_stops cut off by Derek_

D: No, let me finish, if I stop here, I'll never say it, I'll chicken out

A: concerned Say what?

D: I tried. And for a long time every morning when I woke up, I had to tell myself it was you I loved, not her. And for some time, it worked. I began to love you more, and saw her as an actual friend. But then, when I saw her at the vet, things changed... Telling myself I loved you stopped working. My heart trumped my brain, and took over. And tonight... tonight all those lies turned to anger, and... _Derek, clearly uncomfortable turned away from her, not wanting to look at her, her eyes spilling with tears_

A: Derek-

D: I slept with her. During Prom, I snuck away. I don't know why I did, but I did. We argued, we fought, and it happened. Not on purpose, it just did.

A: _stunned and hurt_ Oh my God, Derek.

D: The balls in your court, this time. I did this, you can end it. I won't lie.

A: Do you still love me...

D: Addison, I don't know. All I know is my life is nothing without her. _Derek dropped his head, and a guilty tear fell from his eyes, but his heart felt light and free_

Alex ran up to the room was paged to, each step he climbed, he missed Izzie more. All he wanted to do was turn around, and make sure she was okay. As he approached the room, he saw a large crib set up. As Alex knocked and entered, a small woman came into view. She was sitting by the crib, stroking the tiny baby's arm.

A: Hi, I'm Dr. Karev. And you're Ms. Hanna Elpida, right?

H: _Wiping a stray tear _Yeah.

A: Can you describe to me what's wrong with Nissa?

H: Well, I noticed it when I first brought her home, or well, nevermind. When I gave her her bottle, her lips turned blue. When I called, they said she was just adjusting to feeding, and it would go away. And then tonight, she stopped breathing... I rushed her here. Is she going to be alright? _her eyes began to tear up more_

A: She's stable now, were going to run some blood tests, an Echo, and a CT. We will probably know within the hour.

Hanna raised her arm to grab a box of tissues. Alex saw several healed over scars on his arm, and before he knew what he was saying, his mouth got ahead of his mind

A: Hanna, are you being abused? _Hanna looked up and bit her lip in uncertainty _

H: No, well, I was. But I'm not anymore. I left him. After he found out I was pregnant, it got out of control. He never hit me before, but things got crazy. Two months after that first night, I left. I haven't talked to him since then. Nissa, her name, it means New Hope. She is my new hope, she's my everything. She's all I have left. _Hanna began to cry again, but clearly tried to hold back the unwanted tears_

A: You don't have to go through this alone Hanna. My father was abusive to my mother, but she wasn't strong enough like you are to leave. I had to live with him for 18 years. You can get help, I'll find you some numbers of places to call. And don't worry. I'll figure out what's wrong with Nissa.

Meredith suddenly puller her head of Cristina's shoulder. She gasped slightly, and drew the attention of several other customers at the bar. Joe stopped mid-pour of her next Tequila, to discreetly listen.

M: Oh MY GOD!

C: What? Who else did you sleep with tonight?

M: I can't find my PANTIES!

C: Yeah, you said that already. Did you suffer from any trauma... that could cause memory loss.

M: I'm serious!

C: Me too, I want surgery, are you sure you're alright up there?

M: I think they are still there. She's going to find them if I don't go back... we HAVE to go back!

C: We? They're your panties. YOU slept with McDreamy. Not Me. I'm not going

M: Yes you're going. You're my person. That means you HAVE to go.

Meredith and Cristina throw some money on the bar, and wave to Joe. The two leave the inviting warmth of the Joe's, and, as they leave, the tiny ping of the bell signals their departure, and the beginning of their adventure.

Addison and Derek are still at the Dock. The breeze has slightly picked up, and Addison's hair is twisting wildly behind her. They each have their arms around themselves, bracing themselves from the wind and each others' words.

A: Derek, I still love you. No matter what, I always will. But you love her, everyone knows it. As much as I love you, I want you to be happy. I have a confession of my own. I stayed with Mark after you caught us, but I came back later. I still loved you, or the old you, before you became distant and hollow. I came back, expecting to find the same hollow Derek, but you weren't. I thought it was because you had time to think, to figure things out. After we agreed to try again, though, you became the other Derek, the distant one. You love her. She makes you the old Derek, the one who laughs, and jokes, and smiles. Me staying with you, Derek, is killing you, and I see that. Everyone does. She fills that hollow spot that I used to, maybe you changed, maybe I did. Maybe when I chose to sleep with Mark, that's when it happened. All I know is we are both miserable and me staying with you isn't going to change that.

D: So I guess this means...

A: We're signing the papers. We gave it our best shot, Derek. Love really isn't enough.

Meredith led Cristina through the twists and turns of the hallways until she stopped in front of the door. As it was night, the hospital was mostly quiet. A nurse was sleeping at the Nurse's Station, her head sat rested on an open chart that she clearly fell asleep completing. Meredith scanned the halls once more, making sure no one would find them.

M: Here.

C: You did McDreamy in my exam room? _ The two entered, Meredith began instantly searching, dropping to her knees. Cristina merely stood there, sweeping her eyes over the countertops._

M: It's not your exam room, and aren't you going to help?

_Cristina dropped on her hands and knees also, and looked under a cart containing supplies._

C: Okay, its not my exam room, but I see patients in here, alot, or well I guess used to. I don't know anymore. _jokingly_ Gross

Alex walked by in the hall, and seeing the two searching stopped, and moved so he couldn't be seen, but could still hear.

M: I can't believe I slept with Derek. And he might have my panties... I don't think they're here. _Long pause as Mer and Cristina continue to search, and after a moment Alex enters_

A: What are you looking for? Meredith, did you lose ANOTHER patient?

C: Not like it's any of your business, but if you have to know, I lost an umm, earring. It was expensive, and my grandmothers.

M: Yeah, an earring... _unsure_

A: Can it, I heard you. Pause So, Grey, you slept with Dr. Shepherd and he stole your panties?

M: Alex, just stop. Plus we don't know that he stole them.

A: Trust me, I'm a guy, he stole those panties. Grand Theft Panties- I wonder if that's a federal offense?

C: Ugh, you are so not helping, what will it take to get you to leave?

A: I'm out of here anyways. I've got to pick up labs on a patient... I'm pretty sure she has VSD, and I'm gonna fix it.

C: Ventricular Septal Defect? No Way!

A: Like I said, I have to go. _Alex leaves, and starts to whistle_

C: I have to get in on that surgery _Cristina gets up and starts to walk away  
_  
M: And leave me here? _Cristina leaves (harshly_) CRISTINA!

Meredith sighs, and continues to crawl around. After a few minutes of silence, she crawls over the cabinets, and leans against them. Drawing her knees to her chest, and burying her head in her arms, she lets her tears fall freely for the first time that night

Cristina, out of breath from running up to Burke's room, knocked on the door. He was slowly trying to place his thumb to each finger, wincing n pain at every slight movement. As soon as he heard her knock, he looked up, and smiled through his hurt. Cristina moved forward toward his bed, and pulled up a chair. In the background, the beats of his heart were rhythmically beeping on a screen behind his head.

C: I heard there's a patient with VSD

B: Yeah, Alex is on the case. It should be interesting

C: Look, I don't know if you can help, but I REALLY need this surgery.

B: Cristina, I can't just steal it write from underneath him

C: Burke, I know you're sick. But as soon as you are out of here, I'll do anything pause, and Cristina get a smirk on her face and I mean ANYTHING you want. I'll make up for falling asleep a thousand times over.

B: Burke sighs and rolls his eyes I'll see what I can do. Burke glances at the clock on the wall Cristina you have rounds in less than an hour!

C: What? _looks at her watch and begins to run out of the room before Burke changes his mind about the VSD_ Seriously, they just don't want us to sleep around here...

As Alex approached room 2039, Alex's head was mixed with pure confusion. On one hand, he wanted to scrub in on the VSD surgery, and on the other he didn't want Nissa to need the surgery. It would cost way more then they could afford, even with insurance Alex knocked on the door and peered in. Hanna was asleep, head against the hospital crib, clutching the Domestic Abuse brochures he had brought her. He knocked again, this time louder, and Hanna jolted up.

A: Hanna?

H: Do you know?

Alex walked toward her, and took the seat opposite her. This was the worst part of the job. He took a deep breath and prepared to deliver the news.

A: Nissa has something called Ventricular Septal Defect. This means there is hole between the two ventricles of her heart. Nissa's is moderate. We can fix it or not. It's borderline. Proceeding with the surgery, barring any complications, she will lead a perfectly normal life. If she doesn't have the surgery, she won't necessarily die, but she won't be normal. Something as simple as walking up the steps could cause her to need to catch her breath. I understand this is a huge decision with no clear answer.

H: _crying _She has a hole in her _heart?_ That seems... impossible. She may die?

A: I don't want to lie, I can't, it's not my job,. But yes, she could, either way. I'll give you some time to make your decision. _ Alex gets up to leave_

H: Thanks _holds up brochures_ for these...

Alex smiled to himself and nodded to Hanna as he walked from the room, thinking that he may have saved her from the fate of his mother.

George kissed Callie on the cheek as he left the hospital to go check on Izzie. When he got into the car, he debated on where to look for her first. Pulling into Joe's, it suddenly hit him where Izzie would be. From two blocks away, he could already smell delicious smell of baked goods. Entering the house, the smell of chocolate became over powerful. Following his nose into the kitchen, he dropped his bag...

G: I'm going to have to quote you, but 'HOLY MOTHER OF DESTRUCTION'

I: It's just a few desserts

G: Izzie, I don't think Betty Crocker baked this much in her ENTIRE LIFE!

Looking around, there were empty trays, bowls, and measuring cups scattered around the kitchen. Covering every inch of the table and counters were cookies, cupcakes, brownies, and cakes. Izzie's face had a smudge of chocolate on it, along with the front of the refrigerator and the stove.

I: Its just a few things, and besides, when I get upset, I bake.

G: What are you going to _do_ with all this food?

I: I don't know, eat it or something.

George grabs a cupcake and shoves it in his mouth.

G: Wow, Iz, this is really good.

I: Oh make sure you try a piece of that cake, its got coconut icing, I changed the recipe that I normally use.

George puts down the half eaten cupcake, remembering why he came here.

G: Izzie, not that your food isn't phenomenal, cause it is, but, I have something important to tell you. Izzie puts down a bowl that she was mixing, and a look of concern comes over her face. Tonight, during prom, Meredith and Dr. Shepherd, umm, well... I don't know how--

I: George just say it

G: Meredith had sex with Derek!

I: Oh, is that all?

G: _puzzled _You don't care?

I: _nonchlantly_ Hey, it's her life, she can screw whatever guys she wants. _Picks bowl back up and continues stirring_

G: _angrily_ And this is your life! The Dr. Isobel Stevens I know doesn't walk away when things get hard. The Dr. Stevens I know worked as a waitress for years so she could leave her mom and go to college. Once she got there she worked her ass off modeling posing half naked to all of Seattle so she could pay off her debt. She didn't care that everyone thought she was trailer trash cause she knew she wasn't. The Dr. Stevens I know wouldn't quit if things got tough. Pause_softly_ And the Izzie I know as a friend would get back in the car with me to go do rounds in half an hour.

Izzie looks down and her eyes begin to water as George's words sting her, she once more puts back down the bowl, and her head still hung low.

I: George?

G: Yeah? _He looks up_

I: You're right. _She looks up and her teary eyes lock with his._

---

Addison and Derek are at the trailer. Derek is sitting at the table, a manila envelops is sitting in front of him, and his hands are placed on it, but he isn't looking at it, or anything else. His head is swarming with everything that had happened in the past year. Each event vividly flashing through his head. Seeing Mark and Addison in bed, meeting Meredith at the bar... and the events that followed that night, finding out she was an intern, getting caught at the party, Addison returning... everything that happened whirled through his head, but he still couldn't open the envelope. Addison is in the bed room, a suitcase lying open on the bed, as she sorts through the drawers grabbing her things.

A: Derek have you seen my purple sweater, I think it might be i--

D: _angrily at first but then sad_ How are you okay with this? You're acting as if this is some everyday thing... _Where's my blouse? Have you seen my favorite jeans? Can you hand me that belt? _How can you stand there and be all content with knowing that you're ending a relationship that's lasted over 11 years? Why haven't you broken down? Why aren't you feeling the way I am?

Addison puts down the shirt she was folding and walks over, and sits opposite him at the table, tears brimming on her eyes.

A: I am breaking down, on the inside. Today is the end of the best thing that ever happened to me. _Of course I'm breaking down._ But see, the one part of this whole thing that's keeping me sane, is the fact that you love her, not me. The fact that knowing when I go back to New York, Mark will be there waiting and you'll be with her, happy. The only thing keeping me sane during ending this great thing is knowing that we'll both be going on to something even greater.

Derek, his normally deep eyes, are red, but forces a smile through his tears, and, taking a deep breath, opens the envelop and pulls a pen from the pocket. Looking at Addison, she returns the forced smile. Derek signs at the bottom of the page, and holds the pen out. As a few tears fall, Addison signs the papers, officially ending their marriage of 11 years, but beginning the chance at a happier life.

In the locker room, each intern is silently preparing for the day ahead, wrapped up in the previous nights' happenings. Meredith has changed into her scrubs, searching frantically through her locker for the panties she knows aren't there. Alex is laying on the bench, his arms behind his head, and his eyes closed, trying to sleep. Cristina is pulling her hair up, obviously still regretting how she had hurt Burke. George is sitting in the room, quietly chewing on a cookie. Cristina glances down at him

C: Nice breakfast George, did you sneak it out of the cookie jar when mommy wasn't looking?

G: No, Izzie made it, and why are you always so grouchy?

Cristina blows off his comment, and reaches to put on her stethoscope. Suddenly the door swings open, and Izzie is rushing in, clearly running and rushing to get ready. As she enters, everyone stops what they're doing and look at her questioningly. She quickly changes to her scrubs, but still everyone is looking at her.

I: What? Do I still have chocolate on my face? I work here you know.

No one wants to argue with her, so everyone goes back to what they were previously doing. After a moment, the door swings open and Bailey enters.

B: Everybody move, its time for rounds!

Everyone gets up and shuffles past Bailey, and Izzie is last, grabbing her stethoscope and throwing it around her neck. As soon as the last intern, George shuffles at the door, Bailey steps into the locker room, and right in front of Izzie's escape path, the door swings shut behind her.

B: It may have been wrong, anyone can see that, but anyone can also see that you loved him. Normally I'm not into all that mushy stuff, but losing someone you loved hurts, and the fear of that makes you do crazy things, that's why _I'm_ not gonna get on your case, but I don't think the cheif feels the same way. He saw you run in, and wants to see you in his office.

Izzie begins to move towards the door, but Bailey doesn't move. Izzie stands there, a puzzled look comes across her face. Bailey looks down, and then back up at her.

B: Dr. Stevens, I undestand, and for what its worth, think you're the greatest doctor out of all the interns, and I hope it stays that way.

Bailey turns, and begins to walk out of the door. Izzie's puzzled looks stays on her face for a minute, but then a smile comes over her face. _Bailey just complimented me?_ She grabs the handle of the door, and her concern over the meeting with Dr. Webber fades away.

Bailey is leading the interns, minus Izzie, down the hall to room 2039. Alex is walking with a pretentious gait. Cristina and Meredith exchange a look, silently making fun of his cocky behavior. Up ahead, someone clears their throat, causing the two to look up. Dr. Shepherd was approaching them. His eyes looked up and locked with Meredith's, but they weren't the longing eyes from the prom the night before, they were reflecting his hurt and pain. He needed to talk to her, to finish the conversation. He hadn't told anyone about the divorce yet, and asked Addison to do the same. As the group grew closer to Derek, their eyes broke from their lock, and Derek, startled turned to Dr. Bailey.

D: Ahh, Miranda, I need two interns today, alot of work to be done...

B: Certainly, Grey, O'Malley, you two are with Shepherd today

As Derek winced at Meredith's names, Miranda looked up, and a questioning look came over her face, but as quickly as his look had come, it faded, and so did Miranda's. George sent Meredith a look, their fear of the unavoidable awkwardness they knew was coming clearly showing in their faces, and began to trudge toward him. He turned on his heel, and began to walk down the hall, the two intern's trailing closely behind, continuing to exchange glances. Bailey began to walk again and entered the room Alex had already visited many times, Alex and Cristina follow her in.

B: Good morning Ms. Elpida. Dr. Karev will be presenting this morning.

A: Nissa Elpida was admitted for turning blue around the lips after being fed her bottle. She was diagnosed with moderate/severe VSD. She's currently stable and awaiting her mother's decisions of whether or not to proceed with the surgery. 

B: Good job, Karev. Normally I would assign you to this patient, but I've been given orders to give this one to Cristina. Looks like you're in the pit today, Dr. Karev.

A: She stole my patient!

C: (smugly) I didn't steal anything. It was "orders"

A: Grand Theft Patient and Panties, all in one day, its like the FREAKIN streets of New York. Now wheres a hooker?

B: _(annoyed_) Not funny, Dr. Karev, and not appropriate.

Alex's complacent look from his previous comment faded to frustration as he turned to Cristina to fire another one-liner.

A: How much for you?

C: Go burn in hell

A: Aha, I'll be seeing you there, my friend

Alex turns and walks out, leaving an infuriated Bailey and a pissed Cristina in the room. He angrily punched the elevator button, but as it wasn't moving, he turned to take the stairs to blow off some steam.

As Izzie approached the chief's door, any confidence Dr. Bailey had given her vanished with each knock on his door. After a moment, the voice of Dr. Webber boomed from the room.

C: Come in.

Izzie tentatively entered the room, and silently took the seat opposite Richard.

C: Dr. Stevens, it is my understanding that purposefully clipped a wire of a Mr. Denny Duquette last evening. Not only did you endanger the reliability of this hospital and of UNOS, you risked a patients life. He could have, and medically, should have died the minute you decided to pull the horrendously STUPID move of cutting the ONE THING keeping him alive. Pause

I: Dr. Webber, I'm sorry. It was a terribl-

C: I'm not done yet, you don't get to speak. Apparently, it wasn't the only thing keeping him alive. He had a strong will to live, Izzie Stevens, and that will may have been you. For whatever reason, he lived to see that heart, but died shortly after. I'm not condoning your actions, because you should be kicked out of the program, and really, sent to jail. But I know what love makes people do. It causes all of your thoughts to become blurry. You can't see what you're doing. Your heart takes control of your mind, and you have no control. Izzie, consider yourself suspended, for one day. You will then be on probation for the rest of your internship.

I: Thank you Dr. Webber. I know it was stu-

D: Dr. Stevens?

I: Yes sir?

D: And as reparation for your actions, I expect 4 dozen of your best cookies on my desk tomorrow morning. Now, leave my office before I change my mind.

Izzie scurried out the room as soon as Dr. Webber spoke. Quietly shutting the door, she smiled as she ran down the hallway, to the locker-room, where she quickly changed to return home to begin making those four dozen cookies

Derek led George and Meredith down the hall, and stopped in front of the elevators. Opening a chart he held in his hand, he pulled out a stack of papers, and tube containing blood.

D: I need one of you to take this down to the lab, and have them run every test on it, tell them I need it within the hour.

Derek reaches his arm out to hand the papers and the tube to George, but just as George is grabbing them, Meredith reaches out and snags the pile. Suddenly, all three have one hand on the envelope, each person glancing awkwardly at the next.

D: _frustrated_ Dr. Grey, I believe I had intended for Dr. O'Malley to run this down to radiology.

George sends an apologetic look to Meredith, as she reluctantly releases the envelope. George looks at the pair, then runs towards the stairs, leaving Meredith and Derek to themselves. He motions with his head for him to follow her as he enters an open elevator; she does so reluctantly. The elevator doors close behind them.

D: Meredith, about last night.

M: What about it? It happened, its done.

D: It's not over Meredith.We're not over. I-

M: _angrily _**Really?** Because just a few days ago it was over, and now its not.

D: I was wrong. I thought we were over. We were never 'over.' Meredith, I never stopped loving you.

Derek reaches over, and stops the elevator. He leans in and begins to kiss Meredith, and at first she gives in, kissing passionately back, but suddenly she pulls back, pushing him away.

M: _tearful_ Finn, he has plans. _Plans_ Derek! I've never had plans in my life. For as long as I can remember, I've been running around blind, and now I'm not. I know what's coming around the corner. Just as soon as everything gets settled down, this happens, you happen again. Derek, Finn has plans, and you, you have a wife. I can't be a part of this.

D: Meredith-

M: No Derek, just DON'T.

D: I left her.

Meredith leans over, and unstops the elevator. A second later, the doors open, and Meredith walks out, quickly, running down the hall, tears streaming down her face.

Meredith sprinted, and finding the nearest empty patient room, let herself in. Checking to make sure all the blinds were drawn, she sat on the bed, placed her head in her hands, and began to sob. After a few moments, Derek began to knock lightly on the door.

M: Derek, just leave, okay?

D: No, Meredith. All through my life I've walked away when things got hard, when something happened that I didn't like, I just left. Not now, Meredith, I REFUSE to walk away from something this good. I will not walk away from the best thing that ever happened to me.

Derek opened the door and sat on the bed next to her. Sliding his arm around her, he expected her to lean her head against his shoulder, but she pulled away.

M: Derek, leaving her still doesn't change the past. You had every opportunity to bring up that you were MARRIED to me. It's not exactly something that slips someone's mind. You could have told me, you LIED to me Derek. I don't know if I can trust you anymore. A hurt like that doesn't go away with time.

D: Meredith, I know, I know I was wrong, I lied. I was going to tell you that night, the night she came, but fate got in the way. I should have told you sooner, from the minute we started to date. Derek pauses as his eyes fill with tears Meredith, I would never, ever do anything to hurt you like I did again.

Meredith debated over what to say, what to do next. Her head was rushing, filled with questions. Suddenly the silence was broken by the high pitched beeps of her pager.

M: Derek, I don't know. I still can't trust you, put myself out there for you to break me again.

With that she got up, answering her "page", and ran out the door. Leaving Derek there, who silently began to cry. As soon as Meredith reached the locker room, she replaced the batteries of her dying pager, and sat down, leaning against the lockers, and began to cry yet again.

Meredith leaned against the locker, letting the tears fall freely from her eyes, when suddenly a rustle from the corner of the room startled her. Peering up, she saw Alex, clearly angry, leaned against a wall. Their eyes lock, their hurt and anger mixed with understanding for the other. Alex slowly walked towards Meredith, and slumped down next to her, looking at her, his eyes filled with questions as to why she is there.

M: He wants me back, after he chose her, after he left me, after calling me a whore, he wants me back. Finn has plans, Alex, and I like Finn. He's great, he likes dogs, and births ponies, and mostly, he's not married. Derek said he left her already, but it still hurts. I still cry at night missing him, but I do the best I can. I can't go through hurt like that again, I just can't. When I broke George, everyone ran to his rescue. Now here I am, in a million pieces, but where's my rescue party? Alex, I can't be hurt again, and I can't hurt Finn.

A: It's simple, who do you love?

M: Derek. Pause Finn. Pause You see, I don't know who. Who do I hurt, who can I trust?

A: No matter what you do, you'll hurt someone. No matter what you do with anything in life, you hurt someone, even unintentionally. People go through just smashing up other people, leaving someone else to pick up the pieces. Sometimes they come back to pick up what they've broken, sometimes not. How can we trust them not to break us apart again?

M: We've been shattered into a thousand little pieces...

A: How can we trust them again?

Alex and Meredith sat there, heads leaned back against the lockers, blankly staring at the ceiling, wondering where to place their trust. Alex replaying images of Izzie playing scrabble with Denny, flirting endlessly with him, and curled next to his dead body. Meredith's mind was focused on Addison coming here, Addison taking her dog, and Derek pursuing her in the hall during prom. Meredith tilted her head over, sending an empathetic smile,

M: A thousand little pieces

A: _in agreement_ A thousand little pieces

Their gazes locked, each understanding the pain and confusion blazing in the others eyes.

Derek sat in the exam room, his head buried in his hands, regretting everything he had done, his heart heavy with guilt from the pain he caused. Suddenly the door opened and Dr. Webber walks in, and slumps on the bed next to Derek. The two sit in silence, and Derek sits up, sighing, he begins,

D: My whole life, i've been trying to do the right thing, always minded my manners, and tried to make everyone happy. But now I'm realizing... every single time I thought I'd done the right thing, it turned out to be wrong. I had tried so hard to be the perfect doctor, I ignored my wife. I left so she could be with the man she loved, but she still loved me. I fall in love with my intern, but shove her off so I can fulfill my obligations. My whole life I've been making my decisions for others, and not myself. Pause Now I've finally made a right decision, and everything falls apart. Richard, my life is falling apart.

R: sigh You were right to leave her. It may have been hard, but it was the best thing to do. That hollowness you felt, it won't go away with time. You can't force your heart to love someone, when its still stuck on someone else. Derek, you made the decision I should have made. It will work out. Meredith isn't dumb, and she still loves you. Trust me, a love like that never dies.

Webber gets up in the same silence as he entered, pushing regrets from his past out of his mind. Derek is left on the exam table, rubbing his head, Richard's words swarming through his head. Suddenly Derek knew what he had to do to make things right.

Alex, still angered by Cristina's greed, stormed up to the Elpida's room. Cristina was prepping Nissa for surgery, Hanna was sitting on a nearby chair, anxiously shaking her foot, sipping a coffee. Alex knocked and entered, Cristina looked up, her excited look switching to an annoyed one; Hanna's fearful looks switched to one of relief.

A:_ at first surprisingly kind_ Hello, Hanna. I see you decided to proceed with the surgery. _Turns to Cristina, in a spiteful tone_ MY surgery. pause Dr. Yang, may I see you in the hall. _gives sarcastic smile_

Alex, gripping onto Cristina's arm, walks out into the hall, Cristina dragging behind.

A: I don't know WHAT THE HELL your problem is, but that was MY surgery. I EARNED it.

C: It was given to me, "orders", you can't argue with that.

A: I can argue with the fact that IM NOT SLEEPING WITH AN ATTENDING SO I CAN GET INTO SURGERIES!

C: l_ooking around to make sure no one heard, but raising her voice _Shouldn't you be on Gyno squad anyways?

A: I EARNED this surgery, I had the patient from the start. Go find your own good cases, or wait, are the other attendings not giving you any cause you'll FREEZE UP in their surgeries too!

C: Look, don't get all pissy at me because Izzie liked the corpse better, because she picked you second.

Alex's eyes narrow, clearly showing Cristina she's struck a nerve. For once, Alex is left speechless. Turning around, he starts walking down the hallway, he turns around, glaring at Cristina, and mumbles, in her earshot

A: _pretending to be angry but with a playful tone _Yang! I'm getting this surgery back

C: _clearly joking _2nd PLACE TO A CORPSE

A: _calling back_ SURGERY WHORE!

Addison sat in her office, scanning her head over the newly blank walls, thinking back to the day when she first moved here. Her heart sat heavy in her chest as she put her hand on the half full box sitting on her desk. In it lay several framed diplomas. Addison smiled, hoping a brief moment of pride would mask her pain. Reaching forward, she grabbed a clock, and a few photos off her desk. Looking at she was reminded of happier times. A picture of her parent's, her, and her two sisters at their vacation went in the box first. The nex picture was of her and Savvy smiling at a New York bar, clearly drunk. Scanning over to the last picture, her stomach dropped. The Picture held a happy couple's engangement photo; Derek was posed, his arms folded on a table in front of him, smiling. Addison had her arms wrapped around his chest, her head leaning against his shoulders. Tearfully, she took the frame, and layed it next to the box. As she look down at her hands, she began to let tears fall. The same brilliant ring in the photo looked back at her from her hand, but both their marriage and the ring had lost its glimmer since the picture had been taking. She quietly sobbed as she took the rings off her finger. They clinked quietly as Addison placed them on the glass frame protecting the couple in the photo. _If only it could have protected our relationship, too_ Reaching down to the bottom drawer of her desk, she grabbed a stack of envelopes and placed all but one inside the box. Pulling a pen from her white coat, she slowly scratched her message onto the the front.

_Derek-_

I thought you might want these. Do with them what you wish.

Addison

As she slid the frame and the rings into the frames she leaned back over to shut the still open drawer. Suddenly, something caught her eye. She inhaled sharply as a picture of her and mark smiled at her. For a minute, she grinned, and her sunken heart floated. _This **is** for the better. _Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, and she threw the envelope and picture into the bottom drawer and slammed it shut. The door creaked open.

A timid looking Meredith stood in the doorway, her hair was in a messy ponytail, and her eyes were rimmed with red streaks from crying. She paused before speaking, clearly taking in the fact the walls and desk were empty. She diverted her gaze back to Addison, remembering what she was here to do; in a raspy, hesitant voice, she began:

M: Look, I know I'm not the person you want to talk to right now, but, I don't know, I feel like I need to. Pause Talk to you, I mean.

Addison sat forward on her chair, at first wanting to shove Meredith out of the room, and lock herself in. Even though she knew it wasn't Meredith's fault, Addison couldn't get rid of the tiny bit of jealousy and anger she felt towards her. But, when her eyes locked with hers, she saw Meredith had just been crying. Filling a pang of guilt, she slightly nodded, and motioned for her to take a seat in the chair across from her. After a moment of silence, Addison looked at her, and sent Meredith an impatient look,

A: Well?

M: He wants me back. He left you. I feel guilty. Pause I don't know what to think.

A: He didn't leave me. It was mutual. He told me about last night. Meredith, this has been coming a long time. I was surprised he didn't sign the paper's when I first got here. It's not entirely your fault. Besides, he's happier with you, and I'm happier with Mark.

M: It just, sigh I just don't know if I can trust him. He didn't tell me about you. He lied to me for so long, and then just left me. He broke me, and it killed me inside. I don't think I can trust him again.

A: Meredith, he loves you. He thinks about you every night and every day he regrets what he did. You have a chance with him now, don't blow it. He picked you, you've won. Everyone is happier this way. Addison reached down, and opened back up the drawer, pulling out the envelope addressed to Derek, she slowly handed it over to Meredith Could you, just give these to Derek?

Addison went back to quietly removing things from her desk. Seeing she was done, Meredith stood up and made her way to the door, holding the envelope. Just as she reached the door, she turned around

M: Addison, pause thanks.

Addison looked up, and offered a slight smile, but returned back to work. Although her head told her to go back to Derek, her heart was still healing, scared to jump, afraid she wouldn't be caught. Meredith exited the room, feeling just as confused as ever.

Cristina trudged over to the intern's usual lunch table. Meredith and George were already there; George slowly and thoughtfully peeling the crust of his PB&J, and Meredith sat, one hand holding her head, the other moving her fork around aimlessly in her salad bowl. Just as Cristina sat down, Alex jumped in front of her, stealing her seat. Meredith's eyes glanced up from her to watch the impending fight. George stopped peeling his sandwich.

C: What? Are you seriously still pissed at me getting your case.

A: It was MY case, can't you find your own.

George, trying to avoid an argument, cleared his throat, and awkwardly stuttered:

G: I was thinking, maybe we could all, you know, have a little get together at my, I mean Meredith's, cause we've all been really- It would be good for Izzie, cause you know, it's been rough on her and all with you know- We all have tomorrow night off, don't we? I mean, if it's okay with you Meredith?

Everyone's eyes at the table turn to Meredith, fork half-way to her mouth.

M: I don't know, we've all been really stressed. And besides, the last party you threw made my home into a night club. I'm still trying to wash the smell of tequila out of the furniture.

C: Come on Meredith, don't be such a kill joy, besides, it'll just be us, how crazy could we get?

Alex smirks at the 'How crazy could we get?' comment, but Cristina and George glare at him, shutting him instantly up.

M: Do we even know it's okay with Izzie yet? She's probably still upset, and she's on probation for practically the rest of forever, she can't risk a hangover at work.

G: Trust me, she fine with it. And right now we have enough brownies to feed us all three times over. Pause Meredith, I don't think I can eat another brownie. They're good, but enough's enough.

M: sighing Fine, but keep it small, just us 5. No more.

G: What about Callie? She'd like to come.

M: Fine, but us 5, plusdates. No more, I can't take another party like that last one. Not with Der- stops herself

A: You two have another fight? I swear, you two fight more often then Bambi here gets dumped.

G: She didn't dump me, Alex, I'd appreciate not talking about it.

A: Whatever you say, syph boy!

Meredith and Cristina laugh, as George, frustrated gets up and leaves. Suddenly there is an awkward pause at the table.

A: So Cristina, how's my stolen patient?

M: You stole his patient!

C: NO! Burke gave her to me.

A: So you admit it, Burke gave my patient to you!

C: You're just jealous cause I get to do a Ventricular repair.

A: I diagnosed Nissa with VSD, I should do the surgery.

M: A VSD! I'm stuck with Shephard, running labs, and you two have a VSD. Perfect.

A: Correction, not US two, she has a VSD, which was MINE!

C: Don't you have some nurse to do?

A: Don't you have some attending to do?

M: Okay, okay. Enough talk of doing people here.

A: I like talking about doing people. We should tell stories looking at Cristina You go first.

C: Shut up, evil spawn. Besides, I have to do a prep for that surgery.

Cristina gets up, and leaves Meredith and Alex at the table.

A: Then I guess you tell your sex story first.

M: smiles Not a chance.

Meredith gets up, leaving Alex with his and the other 3 lunch trays. Grumbling he stacks them up, and walks away.

Derek hopped into his car. He had exactly an hour and a half to get this accomplished. By know, he knew Richard's side of the romance between him and Ellis Grey, and Richard had influenced his decisions in the past, but now Dr. Grey seemed to be the more important person to talk to. Parking his car over the gravel at RoseRidge Home for Extended Care, he walked in, and the familiar, overcoming scent of sterilization caused his head to spin. He spotted a front desk, with a young woman on the phone, quietly he walked up to the desk, patiently waiting her to hang up. Studying the interior, he felt its warmth and safety, like a home. In the fireplace, a quiet fire was crackling, sending a light warmth throughout the room. The seating area nearest the door had several floral couches, and a few chairs. In the background, a few older women in wheelchairs watched Oprah, their faces blank, clearly not there. The woman suddenly hung up the phone, and looking the stranger over with her eyes, greeted him.

J: Hi, I'm Jen. Can I help you, sir?

D: Ah, yes, I'm looking for a Dr. Ellis Grey.

J: Are you family?

D: Yes. frowning Well, no. Actually, that's what I'm here to talk to you about.

Jen frowned, and sent Derek an apologetic look, typing something into the computer.

J: Sir, I'm sorry, but Ellis Grey only allows her daughter to visit her. Maybe if you came with her I could-

E: There you are! I've been looking all over for you.

Ellis Grey came rushing over, and pulled Derek by his arm away from the front desk. Derek, thanking God she had come over, turned to the nurse, and giving him a wide smile, just loud enough so Ellis couldn't hear.

D: Apparently, she allows more people then her daughter to visit.

Jen rolled her eyes, and went back to shuffling papers around on her desk. Suddenly his attention was thwarted back as Meredith's mother pulled him into a hallway.

E:lightly Dr. Thomas Alexander, you know better then to flirt with the nurses. Pause, as she leads him down a path of hallways, till there is a door that says Ellis Grey, MD, which was clearly added on after the original sign just reading Ellis Grey Ahh, here's my office, its cramped, but you know hospitals these days, they just don't respect the doctors anymore.

Ellis Grey sat behind a small desk, covered in old medical journals, and blank papers. As she sat behind the desk, she motioned for him to take a seat on the small chair opposite hers.

E: I need a consult. I have this case, he has severe pancreatic cancer, and-

D: Dr. Grey, I actually would like to talk to you about your situation with Dr. Webber.

E: startled I don't see how that has anything to do with what were talking about, but our relationship is strictly professional.

D: I've found myself in a similar situation as yours. Dr. Grey, I need your advice. I fell in love with this girl, but I was still married, and Mere-, I mean Melody, didn't know I was married, until my wife came back. I tried to work things out with my wife, but I just divorced her, but Melody won't take me back, she doesn't trust me.

E: Well, Tom, you're just going to have to work at it. Things with me and Richard aren't exactly working out either. All I can say, is just try to-

Ellis stopped, the deep wrinkles in her face showed that she was in deep thought, as if trying to remember something from long before. Suddenly, her face lit up and her eyes sparkled.

E: I know who you are. You're Derek Shepherd, and it isn't Melody you're in love with, it's Meredith, my daughter.

D: You remember. How do you know.

E: Richard told me, he came in, and told me about my daughters life. She didn't tell me, I had to be told. I had to be told about my own daughters life.

D: I'm so sorry.

Ellis reached across the table, and took Derek's hand in hers. Her eyes locked with his, pleading for him to listen, causing his heart to sink.

E: Don't hurt her Derek, she loves you. Don't hurt her anymore. She can't handle it. Ellis eyes began to well up with tears I just want her to be happy.

D: Dr. Grey, don't worry, I will never hurt Meredith again. I came here to ask your permission for something.

Derek paused, he had never been as nervous about anything in his life, but he had never been so sure about something at the same time. Taking a deep breath, he began.

D: I have been in love with Meredith since the moment I met her. She was the one thing that kept me going when everything else in my world was crazy. When everything else I had cared for became unimportant, Meredith came into my life, she brought me back, she saved me from myself. I hurt her, and I can't change that. But I love her, Dr. Grey, she makes me complete. She is my sun and moon. She's everything I've ever wanted, and all I ever think about. Ellis, I would like your permission to marry Meredith.

E: Derek, as long as you promise to never hurt her, you can.

Just as Ellis had become Lucid, the wrinkles in her face deepened, her eyes showed confusion, looking around, she stared back at him.

E: Dr. Alexander! SHES MY DAUGHTER, SHES A CHILD! GET OUT NOW AND NEVER COME BACK PERVERT!

A nurse appeared at the doorway wielding a shot. Derek slinked out, as the nurse approached Ellis. Her screams and the nurses soothing voice faded as he made his way back to the car. As he passed Jen at the front desk, he forced a smile, but she didn't look up. While he drove out of the parking lot, the skies let loose, and he turned his windshield wipers on. Even though he had done what he came to do, he still doubted if his plan would work.

Just as Derek's car pulled in to his reserved parking spot, and ambulance ripped through the rainy silence, causing him to jump slightly as he was pulled back from he thoughts back to reality. Just as he was about to walk through the front door, he remembered he should enter through the E.R. Richard never approved of people leaving hospital grounds while on call, even if it was their lunch hour. As he entered through the side door, he was taken aback by all the chaos. People were on stretchers everywhere, and nurses and interns were flying from person to person, administering drugs, and scribbling things back down onto charts. He spotted George and Meredith, on the opposite side of the room, each attending to a separate patient, but standing next to eachother.

D: I thought you two were assigned to me

Meredith shrunk down, and began to focus completely on her patient, suturing a large laceration on his forehead.

G: There was a car accident, 6 cars… I think? We were paged.

Meredith's patient, looked up at Derek, he was about 25, and clearly by his unattended to hair and overall appearance, was a complete geek. Derek smirked to himself, remembering the days when he himself was similar. Suddenly Meredith's patient spoke out.

Patient: sharply Some idiot ran a red-light. It isn't rocket science. Red means stop. Green means go. Now I'm late to class.

Derek was just about to start when suddenly a nurse pulled in a older woman on a gurny, screaming at everyone in the room. Meredith gasped, and handing her mid process sutures, ran around the corner. Derek sent a puzzled look at George, and George returned the look. That is, until the woman on the gurney came into view.

George: This is not good, at all.

Ellis Grey: Dr. Alexander, I thought I said I NEVER WANTED TO SEE YOU AGAIN! SECURITY!

The nurse who had rolled her in, handed her over to Alex, and quietly said something to him. Nodding, he turned her towards the elevator, and pushed Ellis Grey out of the waiting room. The nurse who had brought her in approached Derek as he sutured up the very angry student.

Nurse: Sir, I need to talk to you concerning your visit with Ellis Grey.

Derek looked up, and shrugged his shoulders, heaved angrily. Just as he did so, Meredith reappeared from around the corned. Derek's back is turned to hers.

D: frustrated Is it urgent? As you can see holds up sutures I'm a little busy here.

N: She got like this right after you visited her, we need to talk to you.

Meredith's head spun, as a wave of confusion washed over her. Feeling betrayed, she walked forward, right by Derek, holding in tears as well as she could. Derek's eyes followed her as she pressed turned the corner.

D: Speaking to the nurse, but not paying attention I'll talk to you in just one second. Handing sutures to George, who is already applying bandages to another patient Here, finish this.

G: Dr. Shepherd!

Derek got up and followed to where Meredith was. She was leaned up against the wall, tears spilling down her eyes. Derek felt his stomach drop with a pang of guilt; he knew all of this was his fault. He stalled for a second, debating turning around answering the nurse's questions, but he pressed forward.

Derek placed his hand on Meredith's shoulder; she gasped quietly, and turned her head away from him, masking her tears and disbelief.

D: Meredith…

Through her tears, she turned and faced Derek. Her eyes were red, and she clearly was hurt by what he had done.

M: Why? Why did you go visit my mother. Now she's here, and after everything, she is the last thing I want to be worrying about.

D: Meredith, I just talked to her about-

M: I don't CARE what you talked to her about, you talked to her.

Meredith turned away, and pushed the elevator button. Derek walked behind her, and he placed his hand on her shoulder. As she flinched, the doors opened, and a final tear slid down Meredith's face as she stepped into the elevator. Just as the doors closed Derek stuck his arm, to stop the doors from moving.

M: (bewildered)What do you think you're doing?

D: (smirking) Riding in an elevator.

Derek leaned forward for the second time that day and yanked the stop button, and the elevator lurched to a halt. He turned to her, but she turned away, stepping towards the other side of the elevator.

M: Just leave me alone. (yelling) Why can't you leave me alone?

D: Because I love you.

M: No Derek, you don't.

D: I Don't?

M: If you did, you never would have LIED to me Derek. You lied to me. And today, you went to see my mother. I don't know why, nor do I care. She's here now. What did you do to her. God, why is my life this way!

D: Meredith, you want to know why I went? I asked her what I should do with you. She was lucid, she knew who I was, who you were, who Richard was, too. I talked to her about you, she misses you Meredith. She missies you visiting her and telling her what has been happening. Even when she's not lucid, she still enjoys visitors. You don't go down there enough.

M: Don't _even_ turn this around to being my fault! You must have done something. She's in the E.R. screaming.

D: I can't tell you what I was talking about.

M: And why the hell not?

D: It's a surprise.

Derek leaned over to unstop the elevator. Pressing on it, it doesn't move. As he presses harder on it, he becomes increasing frustrated.

D: Damnit!

M: What?

D: Its stuck!

Derek is still pressing into the stop button, but its useless, giving up, he leans against the wall and slides down backwards. Meredith joins him, and both of them sit on the floor.

M: So, what do we do now?

D: I was hoping you would forgive me, and we could go on, picking up from before Addison.

M: I was talking about the button. _pause_ Go see if it's unstuck yet.

D: You're avoiding the question.

M: It wasn't a question.

D: Okay, fine. Will you forgive me, and go on, picking up from before? _Mumbling_ Damn your stubborn.

M: If you're going to talk to me like that….

D: Still avoiding the question.

M: So?

D: So, I want to know the answer.

M: The answer is get me out of this elevator with you.

Izzie is sitting at home, standing in the kitchen in a pair of "loved" hello kitty pajamas. Her hair is in a messy ponytail and she has no makeup on. Although Izzie is in a state of disarray, the kitchen is now spotless, cleaned meticulously for the party Izzie consented to. The various treats piled neatly onto separate plates, one plate containing four dozen cookies, neatly wrapped in clear cellophane. Just as she sits down at the kitchen table, the phone begins to ring loudly, its shrill covering her irritated sigh. Sullenly, she pushed herself from the tabled and walked towards the phone, reading the I.D., she grumbled. It was Alex. A part of her wanted to answer it and be happy with him, but another part of her still vividly pictured him on top of Olivia. That same part of her yearned to hear Denny laugh again. Her grief took over, and she walked away from the phone, telling herself that if it was important, he'd leave a message. The phone still ringing, she walked upstairs and began to draw water for a bath. As Izzie sank into the warm inviting feel, the answering machine picked up.

Izzie's voice on machine: Hi, you've reached George, Meredith, and Izzie, we can't come to the phone, but leave a message and we'll get back to you as soon as possible (_George burps_) George!

Beep

Alex: Hey, it's Alex. I was hoping you were home, but I guess you're not. I was wondering if you'd want to be my "date" for the get together thing tomorrow. Meredith told you about it right? Cheesy I know, having you as my date, since were both invited anyways, but, I don't know. Call me back. _click_

Cristina's heart was filled with dread. _Maybe Alex was right. I mean, if he would have done the surgery, would things be different. _Clutching Nissa's chart she pushed feelings of guilt from her mind. _It's not my fault, this would have happened no matter what. Dr. Wyer did a flawless job. This is no ones fault. _She kept telling herself this, not wanting to believe little Nissa's life was hanging by a thread. Approaching room 2039 her stomach dropped even more. Hanna was sitting in the same chair, sleeping. Her head propped up against the hospital provided in her crib. Clutched in her hands were several brochures, one was still open. Inhaling Cristina knocked and entered the room, wishing herself away from here, back to a time when no one was shot, no one was dying. Hanna's head looked up, her eyes swollen and red from tears.

C: Um, Nissa's surgery is finished, but I'm afraid there were some complications.

Tears fell from Hanna's eyes as Cristina took the chair opposite hers. This was the part she had come to hate from the job. Although her bedside manner had improved immensely, she still dreaded telling patients about a bad outcome.

C: Nissa's heart couldn't handle the surgery; it was just too tough on her. We couldn't get her heart started, we managed to get her back though. She's in the ICU for now. If she can make it through the next two nights, she has a good shot at living. If she makes it through.

Cristina sat there as Hanna cried. She didn't know what to do. After a minute, Cristina zoned out, her mind wishing Alex was here telling Hanna about her daughter's condition. The silence broke her thinking. Looking up, Hanna was looking at Cristina, eyes pleading her to help.

C: Yeah?

H: Please, can I see her? She's all I have left.

Cristina nodded and left the room, Hanna in tow. She led her to the ICU, dreading showing Hanna her near lifeless child, dreading telling Hanna to say goodbye to everything she had left.

George finished suturing the patients head and reached for his pen to fill out his chart. Scribbling all over the paper, he surrendered to the fact that this pen was dead. Quickly he walked over to the nurses station and grabbed a generic SEATTLE GRACE HOSPITAL pen that was sitting on the counter. Turning around he noticed the man was on the ground. Seizing. Rushing over he started to check the mans pulse

G: Somebody help me! I need help over here! He's having a gran mal seizure.

Several nurses rushed over, one carrying a crash cart with syringes already filled with medicines. One immediately pushed an oxygen mask over his mouth and began squeezing the blue bag. Other doc

G: Diazepam. Give him 3 CCs of Diazepam.

As the nurses scurried around, the man sat up and gasped, clearly confused. George rechecked his pulse.

G: Sir, we're going to have to admit you. Could you please state your name.

Patient: Dammit! Can't you see I'm busy! I have tests to check on.

G: We need your name.

Patient: I'm late, and don't have time for this nonsense. What's my name? And you call yourselves scientists. Every one knows I'm Louis Pasteur! Now let me go so I may get on with my tests!

G: Get him to CT. And Page Dr. Shepherd!

Meredith and Derek sat in silence in the elevator. Meredith stared off into space, seething with anger about his visit to his mother. Derek got up several time and tried in vain to push in the stop button. After a final attempt, he returned to sit next to Meredith at the back of the elevator, and began to sit down.

M: No, you don't get to sit next to me, you sit over there. _She points to the opposite side of the elevator. Derek rolls his eyes and does as she commands _

D: You know your very bossy.

Meredith scoffs at his remark, fighting the urge to flirt back. She was still so confused as to what to do. Addison's word's were still swarming through her head. _Meredith, he loves you. He thinks about you every night and every day he regrets what he did. You have a chance with him now, don't blow it_ She looked over at Derek, his hand was running through his hair, and he was gazing at the bulletin board, pretending to read it. _I love him. But he's hurt me so much, and the minute I allow him in my heart, he does something to push me away._ Meredith's mind wandered back to the image of her mother being wheeled in on a gurney, screaming at everyone.

M: Derek, when you visited my mom, what did you talk about, besides the fact I don't visit?

D: That would be a secret.

M: Please Derek, she's up there, completely confused, and ready to kill you. Derek, you must have said something to upset her.

D: Look, I can't say. You will find out soon enough.

M: And you said I'm the stubborn one. 

Derek looked at her, his eyes sparkling, and a smile began to form at his lips. Their eyes locked for a moment, and the two sat there, enjoying the others company. For the first time in months they could sit there and stare into each other's eyes and worry about nothing. Meredith saw his eyes and felt her anger melt, felt at home for the first time since, well, Addison. Three shrill beeps disrupted the silence. Derek reached down and frowned as he read the page.

D: 911.

Addison walked from her now vacant office, with a box comprised of several nick-knacks and framed degrees. Looking around with an empty heart, she bid farewell to the office that had become her own over the past months. In silence, she switched off the light and gently shut the door. Without making a sound or showing an inkling of emotion, she took the box out to her car, and grabbed a change of clothes from her trunk, which she changed to when she reentered SGH. Swallowing back tears, she began to walk a path she had walked many times while her stay at Seattle Grace. As she passed the nurses station, the memory of her first trip down this walkway her flashed in her mind.

I "Hi, I'm the neo natal specialist that was called in for the TTS syndrome, Dr. Montgomery Shepherd." An eager, yet slightly nervous Addison said to the older nurse sitting at the station.

"Oh yes, we've heard all about you. Dr. Webber's office is down that hall, and to your left." Nurse Debbie smirked, clearly placing a face to a name that had been whispered throughout the halls of the hospital.

"One more question. May I ask what exactly you've heard about me?" She enquired cautiously, fully expecting one answer, but praying the talk about her was good.

"Dr. Montgomery Shepherd, there's a saying around here at this hospital, and I suggest you learn it fast. 'The only thing that travels faster than disease is gossip.' That is the number one rule of this hospital, so anything you do or say, well let's just say you may as well do it in front of everyone, because they are all going to find out anways."

Addison gave a weak smile. I/ Great, I she thought to herself, I/ my first day and already I have a bad reputation. I She shrugged her shoulders and began to walk down the hall as directed by the nurse, pretending not to notice the stares and whispers that followed her as she went.


End file.
